For over 5,000 years, rational human beings had to listen to the religious rants of others. Now our time has come to preach.

You kids have Oz and Peter Pan,
so do not think it's odd
that grown-ups, too, need fairytales,
and they created God.

Some say he rules with love, and some
say with an iron rod:
the grown-ups need their fairytale,
so they invented God.

Some will grow out of it, some won't,
but you should know the score:
let grown-ups have their fairytale,
but you should grow up more.

How blessed is the child who grows up without guilt,
who's not taught they were born in sin
and worthless without the blood that was spilt
by a god who is trying to win.

How blessed is the child who grows up without fear
of invisible creatures who trail
all their steps and provide many rules that aren't clear
and a hell for the people who fail.

How blessed is the child who grows up without hate,
who's not taught there's a god who dislikes
certain races, beliefs, all who tolerate
science, atheists, faggots and dykes.

How blessed is the child who grows up without pew,
a child whose own parents were freed:
if only all children were blessed like these few,
the world would be blessed indeed.

'Mum, I can't sleep tonight because I fear
the old invisible man who's in my room
and watches everything I do, who'll hear
all things I whisper and who'll spell my doom,
who will come out to get me before long,
and who will burn me if I'm doing something wrong.'

'Oh darling, there's no need to be afraid
of God! I'm certain that he loves you still;
he'll only punish those who disobeyed,
but he'll reward all those who do his will.
You'll be in Paradise with him one day
if you do everything your priests and parents say.'

Should we not preach in every square
and mall and knock at people's doors
to tell them: 'Have you heard the good news?
There is no god, there never was!'

Should we not take our children out
on Winter Solstice, let them sing
Imagine and then give them sweets
for all the joy their carols bring?

Should we not organise ourselves
and charge our members, take a grip
on them and always make them feel
they've not deserved their membership?

Should we not hold an atheist camp
to reinforce our non-belief,
repeating all our atheist chants,
and praising our distinguished chief?

Should we not teach the kids in school
why God can't possibly exist
and take the fear out of their lives
that at the rapture they'll be missed?

Should we not put up billboards at
hazardous junctions where the waves
of traffic meet and that convey
the message: 'Atheism saves'?

Should we not go to poorer countries,
seek out the starving folk and feed
all those embracing atheism
and cantillating the atheists' creed?

And yet, we do not feel the urge
to pester those who pester all,
but we're concerned that all their kids
are brainwashed once they learn to crawl.

Do not give up on those who believe
in gods; it is never too late
to save us from an eternity
of that highly delusional state.

As soon as we're born, our parents, just like
their parents before, put our brain
in a box and nail it shut to make sure
that religion keeps us plain.

Each week the clerics tighten and fix
the nuts and bolts of that box,
and when they deem it necessary,
they put on a new set of locks.

But every logical thought that we hear
helps loosen a screw or two,
and though we will cover our ears and eyes,
a number of them will get through.

So keep on giving us logic and facts,
and, much to our own surprise,
the box may break and our brain at last
unfold to its regular size.

'The demons are upset again',
they stressed their island's fables.
'Soon the volcano will erupt
and bury homes and stables.'

So everyone went to the ship
that had been sent to carry
them to the mainland's safety; they
all rushed to catch the ferry.

As they approached the ship, five friends
squabbled about religion;
of course they all were in the right
and wouldn't budge a smidgen.

But a gigantic demon blocked
the gangway without scruples
and bellowed out: 'You shall not pass!',
while flames sprang from his pupils.

Raj burnt some turmeric and sang
a mantra for protection,
but when the demon cast his flames,
he took no further action.

Jude blew a ram's horn and intoned
Psalm 91 to hinder
the demon's efforts, but alas!
Jude was reduced to cinder.

Then John held up a cross and said:
'The power of Christ compels you!',
to which the fiend from hell replied:
'The power of fire farewells you.'

Hasan recited the Qu'ran
over his flask of water
and splashed the demon's face, yet he
did not escape the slaughter.

But Gustav went aboard the ship,
assisted by two seamen;
because he was an atheist,
he didn't see the demon.

A captured Zeppelin made British forces
concoct a plan on their commando's bridge:
in order to disgrace the hated Germans
to drop a bomb on Dover's orphanage.

The officer reported: 'It took off now;
since Byrne is wounded, I sent Hicks instead.'
His general stood paralysed and shouted:
'You sent an unbeliever? Are you mad?

'You can not send an atheist to carry
out such an operation; take a Jew,
Muslim or Hindu if you're out of Christians -
such dirty jobs no faithless man will do!

'Though a believer may be heavy-hearted
when facing such a task, he'll understand
the need and say he only follows orders
and does his part for God and fatherland.

'He might consider Abraham of Hebron
who was prepared to cut his own child's throat
to do God's will, and he may strive to be as
obedient as the man our elders quote.

'He will believe that all he does is part of
God's brilliant master plan and brace
himself to do his horrid duty, thinking
the kids will soon be in a better place.

'At worst a pious pilot might be praying
the bomb he drops may not go off that day;
but atheists don't have such reassuring
mentation, and that's why they won't obey.'

He ordered Hicks to turn around his aircraft
but was ignored; under the crew's blank stares
the Zeppelin crashed on the Cliffs of Dover
while Dover's orphans said their evening pray'rs.

'Who is it reigns with you in heaven?',
Job in his anguish asked the Lord.
'Or do you like to see me suffer
because you're inhumane and bored?

'You're either cruel or share your power',
Job ranted on, 'for if you were
benevolent and omnipotent,
no pain and evil would occur.'

God heard his servant and reflected
on what he uttered in his rage,
and since he couldn't find an answer,
he sought the council of a sage.

'Why do you do what you are doing?' -
'We brought him loss and pain, and thus
we want to test Job's faith and whether
despite his fate he'll worship us.'

'Why should he?', asked the sage. 'Why worship
a god who tortures and neglects?' -
'And what about the gods before us?
They never justified their acts.'

'They were not on their own, and even
the good ones were each others' foes,
and man incurred their wrath; whatever
they did, they stepped on some god's toes.

'With just one god, there can't be struggle
unless he calls for it; there must
be conflict of the ones in power
to justify hurting the just.

'To test the loyalty of humans,
you'll need another by your side.' -
'We shan't accept a god beside us',
the infuriated Lord replied.

'Monotheism is quite tricky;
don't call him god then, at the most
call him advisor, adversary
or something else that fits his post.'

So God went home, created Satan
and gave him power, step by step,
to test his children and torment them
and, last not least, to take the wrap.

Since we have Freedom of Religion
we can do anything we please
as long as someone has created
a faith with matching policies.
Hail Freedom of Religion!

In the religion of our parents
we raise our kids as we see fit,
and from the guilt and fear we suffered
ourselves they sure will benefit.
Hail Freedom of Religion!

This damn political correctness
is something we prefer to shun,
but with the right religious background
we're free to bully anyone.
Hail Freedom of Religion!

The god to whom we bear our children
has told us not to spare the rod,
and so we thrash and sometimes kill them
to make them Children of our God.
Hail Freedom of Religion!

Our god does not allow for doctors;
we, when a child is sick, deny
them treatment, care and medication
but pray for them until they die.
Hail Freedom of Religion!

You worldly folk may have your morals,
but we have more than that: we saw
the light of God convey the message
believers are above the law.
Hail Freedom of Religion!

Consider the lily that blooms in the meadow
which toils not nor spins but still grows;
it's dressed in the most ornamental fashion,
and yet it has no need for clothes.
Is that not proof of God?

Consider the mouth-fitting fruit, the banana,
perforated in just the right place.
Behold - when you pull back the tab He provided,
the contents won't squirt in your face.
Is that not proof of God?

Consider how He created science
to let His opponent be heard,
how slyly He planted the dinosaur fossils
to test our faith in His word.
Is that not proof of God?

Consider a painting - it must have a painter,
each work of art has its source;
it's clear that all things must have been created -
except the creator, of course.
Is that not proof of God?

In times when evil rules the country
and casts its darkness on all doors,
a storyteller must be crafty
to criticise the vicious force.

Whoever came up with the vampires,
nocturnal creatures, dark and pale,
bloodthirsty, sinister and lifeless,
reversed the parties in his tale.

The cross is symbolising reason
and garlic rationality,
blood symbolises life and freedom,
the human neck morality.

Water and daylight stand for knowledge,
the wooden stake for truth, and we
can plainly see that vampirism
itself stands for Christianity.

Hundreds of years ago some people
who didn't like to watch things grow
were tired of all the children asking
things they themselves would never know.

A lot of them then made up fright'ning
tales that you still can hear today
that meant to scare them, so the children
would not ask questions but obey.

Thousands of years ago when people
built the first cities, in the crowd
some wanted to be kings and rulers,
but all the others laughed out loud.

And so they made up tales to scare them
of gods who made them kings - one day
they'd kill all doubters, so the people
would not ask questions but obey.

But if we just refuse to listen
to tales that scare us needlessly,
then we'll be free from horror stories
and free from fear - forever free!

When man, according to Judeo-Christian
mythology, had eaten from the tree
of knowledge, God evicted them from Eden
and gave them both the gift of enmity.

And since he was afraid they might be eating
the fruit of life as well and thus become
gods like himself, he stationed Cherubim and
a flaming sword to scare the troublesome.

With satellites that cover every angle,
all corners of this world have been explored;
if there was truth in their obscure religions,
we would have found the garden and the sword.

The universe, by definition,
is everything, so let's be terse:
this means that absolutely nothing
exists outside the universe.

If someone says their god is living
outside the universe, the gist
of what that person is implying
is that their god does not exist.

'Mum, can you tell me what's beyond the pond?',
the little trout enquired. His mum said: 'Paul,
this pond is all, and nothing lies beyond.
In the beginning Cod created all:
this pond and everything that lives inside it,
and soon He'll judge all creatures who've denied it.'

'If Cod is really everywhere, why can't
we see Him?', Paul kept looking for replies.
'Cod's in each drop of water and each plant,
but He can not be seen by piscine eyes.
Still He can watch your every thought and action,
so live your life to give Cod satisfaction!'

'There's something I don't understand', her son
decided to investigate some more.
'I think it's logical to say when one
creates a thing, it wasn't there before:
if Cod's part of the pond that He created,
how did He make Himself?', her offspring stated.

'That is a brilliant question', she told Paul,
'which I can't answer, I'm afraid to say;
but I am sure Cod will explain it all
the day He'll raise all faithful fish to stay
with Him forever where our native turf is:
in His Eternal Pond above the surface.'

Imagine, if you will, all men
finding the truth; once they can see,
they leave their gods and saints and then
work on a world for you and me.
Nobody then will ever give
us lectures on a grand design
and tell each other how to live:
a godless world would be divine.

Imagine, if you will, that kids
won't thank an empty space above
but relish joys no faith forbids
and have the rod replaced with love,
sermons with teachings that cohere
and bended knees with guts and spine.
All childhoods free from guilt and fear:
a godless world would be divine.

Imagine, if you will, all wealth
this planet offers spent on man
for education, food and health
instead of mosques and Vatican
and everyone who sells a god.
And with God's Army in decline,
we keep a humanitarian squad:
a godless world would be divine.

Imagine, if you will, the gaols
with hardly a convict left behind,
because the unseen master fails
to corrupt our morals and our mind.
A safer world that's based on fact
in which we know what's yours and mine
and treat each other with respect:
a godless world would be divine.

Imagine, if you will, no wars,
bloodbaths and borders are approved,
nor are discriminating laws
because their basis is removed.
Believe me, it's a dream that's worth
dreaming because we can design
our Heaven on this very Earth:
a godless world would be divine.

Bottleneckism

- The Only True Religion -

Picking fruits and catching locusts,
chewing leaves and eating grains,
the first group of Homo sapiens
wanders through the lush green plains.

Suddenly a ball of lightning
with the fire of thousand suns
strikes the earth and makes it tremble,
and each human being runs.

As the grass and trees start burning,
all seek shelter in despair,
but the power of the impact
throws their bodies through the air.

And Anesidora, rising
from the ashes left behind
has to realise she is the
sole survivor of her kind.

And it is her only comfort
in her world of doom and gloom
that the children whom she carries
are still moving in the womb.

So she seeks a cave to sleep in
in the sun's declining light. -
She's still sleeping in that cavern,
for it's still the selfsame night.

She is dreaming of the future
that will be if she survives;
we're all part of this girl's vision
and that which we deem our lives.

Even though we're just the actors
in a vision, you will find:
all we do is fundamental
to the lot of humankind.

For the outcome of her vision
when she'll ope her eyes at dawn
will decide our fate and whether
she'll give up or carry on.